My ‘One Word’ this week is: TRAUMA

In the early years of my marriage, I depended on my wife to make me whole.

Sharon really was my world. She was brilliant and strong and confident, everything I’d always wanted to be. She still is! Sharon’s a superstar in everything she does—a true go-getter. Let’s just say I married up.

The truth is, I came into our marriage with a giant heap of trauma and a billion things from my past that I had swept under the rug. It seemed like a miracle that this incredible woman loved me. Hungry for validation, I depended on her to help me breathe.

Then she was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 43—and my world turned upside down.

I thought, I’m going to lose my rock.

I thought, I’m going to raise two young kids without their mom.

I thought, I’m going to have to find my way without her by my side.

And as I began to grapple with reality, it hit me: first, I had to go find myself.

How did I do it? I took a few crucial steps:

 💗 Got vulnerable (some would call it a nervous breakdown)

 👩 Surrendered to therapy (but didn’t tell a soul)

 🧳 Faced the childhood trauma I’d never unpacked

 🔳 Reckoned with the black hole of my identity

My wife had kept me on life support for a long time. Now I had to pull the plug—and figure out who I even was without her.

Fortunately, Sharon is thriving today, 13 years later. The world didn’t lose this incredible human, and neither did I.

To this day, I say to my wife, “I hope I die first. I don’t want to live without you.” And that’s true. But I no longer rely on her—or anyone—to make me whole.

What I now know is that too many of us wait for that “shoe to drop,” and we risk it coming way too late. It took a life-altering moment for me to start stepping into my own identity—but you don’t have to wait for yours.