Feeling invisible as a child left me clinging for decades to an idea of what I should be, without ever considering who I really was.

My childhood was CHALLENGING. Being sandwiched between two high-achieving siblings, I never felt like I was enough—not smart enough, not athletic enough, not tough enough. I felt like a background character in their stories—as if I’d stop existing when their days cut to the next scene.

I needed a way to stand-out. So, during my teenage years, I wore bandanas as a fun way to express my personality. Before long, those simple pieces of cloth pushed me back into the foreground.

Fast forward to 2000; the hit show Survivor had taken over TV. They sold the buffs that they gave participants, and I bought many. Not only was I a huge fan, but I had also recently survived testicular cancer. The Survivor buff became my signature item.

People would always stop and ask me (especially airline pilots): “Were you on the show?” I said no. But here’s what I shared when they asked why I wore the buff:

For most of my life, Achievement + Survival = Visibility.

I’d achieved plenty, sure. Letters after my name, titles, and awards many dream of. I even ended up:

👨🏼‍🎓 Graduating from a top business school

🏃🏼‍♂️ Running the NYC marathon

💪🏼 Beating down cancer

Turns out I was smart, athletic, and tough enough after all!

But I still felt empty inside. It took my wife’s cancer diagnosis, therapy, and 50 years of living to understand why.

My identity rang hollow because people are NOT defined by achievements. I spent decades surpassing everyone’s expectations for me while completely ignoring my own.

Then I discovered my core value—what I give away to the world to improve the lives of others. I needed to step into my ‘One Word’: CATALYST.

Today I speak on stages wearing my Survivor Buff on my head and my ‘One Word’ CATALYST on my shirt, because these symbolize the most important lesson I now share with you:

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐬 NOT 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨.

I thought I was a Survivor—but that’s just what happened to me. I’m no longer defined by my survivorship; my identity comes from within. My ‘One Word’ is CATALYST.

That’s the value I bring to the world: catalyzing others to evolve their identity from what they DO to who they ARE. It’s how I became visible.

I’m now committed to being the CATALYST who helps individuals step into their true identities with their ‘One Word’ so they, too, can become visible.

Everyone in my ‘One Word’ movement gets their own buff with their ‘One Word’ in big, bold print. That way, every time they look in the mirror, they’re reminded who they truly are—and why they matter.

Look within for the win.

What ‘One Word’ would you put on YOUR buff?