My ‘One Word’ this week is: FLIP

𝐖𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐖𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐩 𝐮𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧.

But sometimes, it does.

For us, it came with a diagnosis: Advanced breast cancer.

Two young children.

And a quiet, terrifying thought that settled in fast:

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈’𝐦 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞?

When someone we love is fighting for their life, we’re fighting too, whether we admit it or not.

Old wounds resurface. Unfinished childhood experiences get louder. And the parts of ourselves we’ve buried suddenly demand attention.

Many of us don’t realize how much of our identity is borrowed.

Borrowed from a role. A relationship. A life that keeps us busy enough not to look too closely.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭.

Not just to face the fear of losing my wife, but to finally face myself.

It was the moment I began my therapy journey. Not to “fix” anything, but to make sense of old traumas I had spent years pushing aside.

𝐅𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤.

Not because something is broken, but because self-understanding isn’t a destination. It’s a practice. And I want to be the best version of myself for my wife, my family, and the life we continue to build together.

The good news? My wife won her cancer battle. She’s doing great today.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡? 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞.

Her cancer diagnosis became the beginning of my healing journey.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬.

So many of us wait for a crisis to begin discovering who we are.

We wait for the diagnosis. The loss. The moment that leaves us no choice.

Why do we wait? I don’t have a perfect answer.

𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬: 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 “𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩” 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐲.

Sometimes it drops too late. For me, it didn’t happen that way.

𝐈 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐲. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨.

A life-altering moment forced me to begin this work. But you don’t have to wait for yours.

You don’t need a crisis to start understanding yourself. You don’t need a breaking point to begin healing.

Do the work before life demands it.

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.