My ‘One Word’ this week is: UNCOMFORTABLE

Last Fall, I initiated one of the most uncomfortable conversations I’ve ever had with my adult children, Samantha and Zach.

The subject: SUICIDE!

I had recently read about Leslie Weirich’s son Austin who died by suicide in 2016. On the outside, Austin had it all—perfect grades, scholar-athlete, President of his class, the list goes on!

I couldn’t help but think of my own daughter Samantha who achieved academic excellence in high school, was a three-sport athlete, and broke several sports records. She, too, had everything going for her (on the outside), just like Austin.

So while out to dinner in Nashville, I looked across the table at them both and said, “Have you ever thought about suicide, about taking your own life?”

Their adamant “No”s could have been the end of the conversation, but I wanted them to know three important things:

1. Our home is a judgment-free zone. We will talk less and listen more!
2. We do not care what you do with your life as long as you’re happy. And if you’re not happy, let us help you pave the road to happiness.
3. If you ever get to the point where you don’t want to live anymore and you lose hope, you are to call us immediately. We will drop everything to come get you and help you through it.

I reached out to Leslie shortly after that dinner to invite her on my podcast and to also let her know that she was the one who empowered me to have this suicide discussion.

During our podcast, Leslie dispelled the #1 myth about preventing suicide:

“𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁!”

You know what? She was absolutely right.

I did what Leslie wasn’t given the chance to do. That conversation strengthened my connection with Sam and Zach in ways I could never have imagined. I could see the relief on their faces as they began to realize that I (and my wife) care enough to want to help them navigate this challenging world we now live in.

Leslie helped me understand that having it all on the outside means absolutely nothing if we don’t have the conversation to begin understanding how our kids are feeling on the inside.

It takes hard conversations to break the stigma around suicide and mental health, but those conversations are so important.

So that’s my challenge to you this week—after you listen to my conversation with Leslie, please start the conversation with your kids (or someone important to you).

Open the door. And then shut up and listen!